Remember Why You Started

Remember why you started | Lettering by Lillian Liming

Remember why you started | Lettering by Lillian Liming

Something about this time of year causes my heart to stir and grow restless. Perhaps it's because we're nearing the end of summer, or maybe it's because I just turned another year older (probably the latter) but it's always around this time of year that I begin to seek change and renewal.  

Three years ago around this time my husband and I began making preparations for our year-long stint in Taiwan. If you've been following my lettering journey from the beginning, then you know that it's during my time in Taiwan that I discovered lettering.

What you might not know is that I created this website many months before I even began lettering. This space was intended for me to share my photographs, travels, and musings about faith, food, and everything in between. Basically, it was going to be my online journal (so innovative, right?).  

But then lettering (and Instagram) happened and I forgot why I started this site. Two years have flown by - two years of lettering and calligraphy practice, two years of sporadic and hodgepodge blog posts, two years of getting to know amazing letterers via Instagram; being fully immersed in this world and little of anything else. 

Don't get me wrong, I am beyond grateful for all of the tutorials/videos/knowledge fellow letterers have freely shared so that I've been able to get to this point. I'm thankful for the friendships I've made in this community. However, being constantly immersed in this world of amazing art and styled images has become mentally/emotionally debilitating this past year. I even eluded to it in this post.

The comparison trap has been real. So real that I found/find myself struggling to be supportive of my #calligrafriends. So real that I've had to unfollow calligraphers/creatives as I constantly felt less-than; that I was always falling behind, and would never be good enough.

We all struggle with this in some way, and there's even a whole #communityovercompetition movement to combat that negativity. But as much as I try to embrace it, it became much harder and harder for me to see it that way - especially when fellow calligraphers that started around the same time (or after) have progressed and accomplished such amazing work (some on a daily basis!). 

Coupled with the fact that the Instagram algorithm has wreaked havoc on the engagement of my posts - I started to feel defeated. Not to mention, suffocated. My life is more than just lettering/calligraphy/art, so why am I posting that way on Instagram? Why am I following mostly calligraphers/artists? Why am I revolving my life around lettering for Instagram? 

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All of these questions have been swirling in my head for months and things finally came to a head this past weekend. It began with a timely email inviting me to an online Bible study (more on that in a future post), then talking things out with a friend over dinner, and finally, spending time with my family on my birthday. 

Turning 39 really makes you stop wishing/worrying/agonizing. You realize you don't have that much time to waste anymore. No time to worry about hurting people's feelings if you unfollow them. No time to agonize over why your follower count is going down instead of up. No time to seek approval/acceptance in the form of IG likes/comments*. You realize what truly matters - family, true blue friends, and a God that loves you just the way you are - warts and all.

You realize that in order to grow, you have to remember why you started.

If you've read this far, please know that I appreciate you. Thank you for following and supporting my journey even when it seems like all I post about is matcha. ;)

*To my fellow calligraphers/creatives, I'm constantly in awe of the work you put out on a daily basis - your endless creativity amazes me! While we may have initially connected over lettering, I've connected with many of you beyond that. I hope you know who you are - please know that my admiration for your work runs deeper than Instagram likes and comments. I apologize if my lack of interaction/engagement/enthusiasm inadvertently caused/causes disappointment on your end. This is not a reflection of how I feel about you but a step to preserve my mental health. My focus now is to get back to my faith - to rely on God to give me strength and confidence; to get back to a healthy mental and emotional place so that I can genuinely love and encourage others. Thank you for your understanding, and for all of your support and encouragement! 

It's Okay to Grow Slow

It's okay to grow slow. - Lara Casey

Lara shared these wise words a while back - it was like she was in my head, she spoke right into my heart - "God's plan does not look like the rest of the world's success. The world says do more, grow fast, be big, use these tricks, do it like those people, get ahead. But, Jesus didn't have Instagram or a megaphone. He had two feet and truth, and He sat around dinner tables and talked one-one-one with people."

Many times, there's just so much on my heart that I want to share but I just don't have the eloquence to do so in a manner that won't offend people. But maybe offending is good sometimes to connect with those that may be struggling with the same things.

As far as lettering goes, it's a daily struggle for me to do things the world's way vs. God's way - it's so easy to get caught up in what's popular and trending versus doing what my heart is passionate for. I stray and do things the world (or just Instagram's algorithm) deems successful because I don't want to be left behind and forgotten. But soon, I realize I'm unhappy and so off-track to what my heart's original purpose was that I have to start all over again. So let this serve as a reminder to myself (and anyone else that needs to hear it):

It's okay if your lettering is not fancy and full of flourishes. It's okay if you only use black ink in your lettering. It's okay if you're not a watercolorist. It's okay if you're not posting daily process videos. It's okay if your photo is not meticulously styled all the time. It's okay if you don't have an Etsy shop (yet or ever).

In Lara's words - "Maybe less is okay. Maybe a slower pace will help your roots stretch deep and wide. It's okay to grow slow.

Be Captivated with Purpose

I stumbled upon a tweet by Bob Goff a while back that really hit home. It said, "we won't be distracted by comparison if we're captivated with purpose."

Photo taken at Taroko Gorge, in the Taroko National Park, Taiwan | Originally lettered in October 2015

Photo taken at Taroko Gorge, in the Taroko National Park, Taiwan | Originally lettered in October 2015

Sometimes I get so caught up with what other people are up to on social media that I lose focus of my own purpose. My purpose to love God, love others and be thankful for each blessing, no matter how small. 

Today, I'm thankful for a pretty uneventful oral surgery to remove my wisdom tooth. I was told there was a slight chance there'd be minor nerve damage but all went well... thank the Lord for painkillers!

I did a some lettering over the weekend in anticipation of the surgery  and am finding it quite therapeutic to do these that it might just be what I need to speed up the healing process! 


EDIT: Free phone wallpaper added October 2018

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